歌手:Claude-Michel Schönberg
专辑:《Les Misérables: The Motion Picture Soundtrack Deluxe》

Master Of The House
Sacha Baron Cohen

My band of soaks
My den of dissolutes
My dirty jokes my always pissed as newts.
My sons of whores spend their lives in my inn,
Homing pigeons homing in,
They fly through my doors.

Welcome,monsieur!
Sit yourself down.
And meet the best innkeeper in town.
As for the rest all of them crooks,
Rooking the guests and cooking the books.
Seldom do you see,honest men like me!
A gent of good intent who's content to be.
Master of the House! Doling out the charm
Ready with a handshake and an open palm
Tells a saucy tale Creates a little stir
Customers appreciate a bon-viveur
Glad to do a friend a favour!
Doesn't cost me to be nice
But nothing gets you nothing Everything has got a little price!
Master of the House! Keeper of the zoo!
Ready to relieve them of a sou or two
Watering the wine
Making up the weight
Picking up their knick-knacks When they can't see straight
Everybody loves a landlord
Everybody's bosom friend!
I do whatever pleases Jesus! Won't I bleed 'em in the end!
Master of the House! Quick to catch yer eye!
Never wants a passer-by to pass him by!
Servant to the poor Butler to the great
Comforter, philosopher and life-long mate!
Everybody's boon companion! Everybody's chaperone!
But lock up your valises Jesus! Won't I skin you to the bone!
Food beyond compare! Food beyond belief!
Mix it in a mincer and pretend it's beef
Kidney of a horse Liver of a cat
Filling up the sausages with this and that!
Residents are more than welcome!
Bridal suite is occupied!
Reasonable charges Plus some little extras on the side!
Charge them for the lice Extra for the mice
Two percent for looking in the mirror twice
Here a little slice There a little cut
Three per cent for sleeping with the window shut!
When it comes to fixing prices
There are lots of tricks he knows!
How it all increases! All them bits and pieces!
Jesus! It's amazing how it grows!

I used to dream that I would meet a prince
But, God almighty, have you seen what's happened since?
"Master of the House" isn't worth my spit!
Comforter, philosopher, and life-long ****!
Cunning little brain Regular Voltaire!
Thinks he's quite a lover But there's not much there
What a cruel trick of nature Landed me with such a louse!
God knows how I've lasted living with this bastard in the house!
Master of the House! Master and a half!
Comforter, philosopher! Don't make me laugh!
Servant to the poor Butler to the great
Hypocrite, and toady, and inebriate
Everybody bless the landlord! Everybody bless his spouse!
Everybody raise a glass!
Raise it up the master's arse!
Everybody raise a glass to the Master of the House!