歌手:Cosmo Jarvis
专辑:《Is The World Strange Or Am I Strange?》

What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
What happens in Dave's house stays with me
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
And if you tell your friends, they won't believe
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
What happens in Dave's house stays unknown
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
So now we have a place that we can go
You can do it in a closet
But I'm not sure that's the best place
See, you can't lock the doors
So maybe try and do it
When your girlfriend's sleeping
Make sure she can't hear you creeping
Instead build a shed
To facilitate the act
But if someone sees you
You might as well pack your
Bags and leave the country
Run free like a squirrel in an oak tree
Slowly your appalling technique will improve
You'll have to move to a new spot
Where not a soul intrudes
Like a bank vault, all you'd need is the keys
But if a bank robber caught you
He'd call the police
And then what, back to the closet?
No, there must be some sick hole we can go
And do what we do in God's sweet peace
And on a Friday have a coffee and talk about the week
In the meantime you'll have to settle
For disused petrol stations
Nature reserves and grandma's basement
Many blatant signs of nefarious areas
If you do see a human being
Go somewhere scarier
I tried it in a hospital one time
But like a fool I forgot that they're open all the time
You could travel to a dead relative's old place
And if they really are dead
They'll let you stay a couple days
After you do it, don't stay put
Go to the last place people will look for you
And also don't forget that alibis are important too
Somebody you trust, never somebody new
This is the life and there is no solution
Until somebody forms us and institution
Where the me's and the you's and the everybodys
Can go do this **** without having to worry
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
What happens in Dave's house stays with me
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
And if you tell your friends, they won't believe
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
What happens in Dave's house stays unknown
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
So now we have a place that we can go
Well you love her
Been relationshipping for a year
And you're never gonna cheat
So have no fear my love, it's okay
I know you had a dream that he was cheating on you
Don't cry, but please scream
And a Friday gives you a bronze idea
To go and see Dave for a chat and a beer
But oh dear, who's here but that girl you imagined
When you're shaking up yourself to Jasmine and Aladdin fantasies
You're rubbing, and the lamp's gonna thank you
By showing you the genie, man
But you forgot the tissue
Anyway Brixham, I mean Dave's town
Dave, the king pimp, seems to have called you a girl down
And you love your man Dave
The beer was free and splendid
But you kept it pretty distant that you're happily girlfriended
You try and squeeze it in before the inevitable
Puts his hand on your balls
And dips some in some hot sauce
And then orders you a six course meal of unnecessary heart ache
Too late you already pinched her ass
And told her that she looks great
You look at Dave one last time
And flash at him those eyebrows
The eyebrows that you save
For when you're in need of a way out
Before you know it you're naked
In the proverbial deep-end
She likes you numb nuts
But you forgot about your girlfriend
Probably sitting at home thinking about you right now
Quick say you need a pee and just take five minutes out
You need to call her, to drunk to dial
A trial but you make it
Ring ring, no answer
You're screwed man , it's way too late
It's comes down to a choice that you've already made
Cause you're a slave to the power of the red dressed dame
You need Dave's help, but he's done done enough
See this was no coincidence
Dave set this up
You're angry and you're happy
And you don't know what to say
Dave whispers in your ear
"You can use my place"
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
What happens in Dave's house stays with me
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
And if you tell your friends, they won't believe
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
What happens in Dave's house stays unknown
What happens in Dave's house stays in Dave's house
So now we have a place that we can go