drugs
Cause I had the best of the worst sides
And I had these lungs, oh
And I had too many flash fires
That I just let them burn
Till my chest is on fire
And my head just won't die
I guess I'm lyin' cause I wanna
I guess I'm lyin' cause I don't
Cause I just feel so tired
Like it's move or slowly die
So you ain't you when you're like this
This ain't you and you know it
But ain't that just the point?
And you don't know how to let go
Who said this must be all or nothing
But I'm still caught below and I'll never let you know
No, I can't tell you nothing
Cause I'm a ******* mess sometimes
But still, I could always be whatever you wanted
But not what you needed
Especially when you've been needing me
And I'll say what I don't mean
Just cause I wanted or maybe I need it
Swear lying's the only rush I need, yeah
Cause all I needed was some words to say
That all these feelings don't mean **** to me
Cause it's all just chemicals anyway, anyway, yeah
And I got way too many routes to take
To make all this just go away and find another heart to break
So heartless with these words I say
Just saying what I'm supposed to say
Cause I had nothing for you I can't love when I can't even love myself
Things I would rather be
Thoughts at the back of my head
But I'm addicted to hurting
And I got these lungs, yeah
And I spent too many late nights
Just thinking a hole in the earth
Till the sky is on fire
And my head still won't die
Like I need something to come alive
She said, "You ain't you when you're like this"
"This ain't you, what you've done?"
And I said, "That's the point"